I have really gone off the track. It is not that I have been gaining weight as much as I have not been in control of my habits. I have the backwards sliding syndrome. You know the one, childhood comfort foods. Or a better description, Preteen eating. When you could eat anything and it would not effect you!! It has been a Struggle to continue to loose weight. The plateau is not my problem! I have been really missing Mom. So, my depression is the real problem. I just do not feel like cooking, eating or shopping for food. Therefore when I need to eat, whatever I have in the house get eaten. And there is a lot of Chocolate!!! Okay hear comes the justification. Chocolate helps lower your blood pressure. Chocolate is good for the Memory , a new study showed ... dark chocolate has been associated in boosting the memory skills. The antioxidants in dark chocolate are good for health, keeps you from getting sick. The more antioxidants the better,right? So,the problem lies in... if that's the only thing in the house then I am in trouble!!!
The mourning period is different for everyone, I just get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Mom and I were a "loose the weight" team, I no longer have that. We went on Adkins together and lost over 40 pounds each. Then mom got cancer and Adkins went out the window. Comfort food came back into our lives. Dealing with the Chemo and Pain caused the food choices to be more child like. So, I gain weight, Mom lost weight. After the first chemo go round I just wanted to get back to loosing the weight. I tried the Southbeach plan. Something in the food, probably the Soy or Splenda, caused a reaction to my skin. I looked like I was being beat up. My eyes were in trouble. One year going to the eye doctors and being put on Steroids. Only to be a temporary fix. I stopped all the soy and Splenda products. Went back to raw sugars and heath food items. One year later my eyes and skin are finally better. Now this is the largest problem. Every Diet, Protein, low calorie or Diet control drinks have Soy or Splenda(sucralose)in them. Some have Maltitol Syrup in them which does havoc in my bowels. All the Programs, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrasystem and others have the products I listed.Therefore I have to make every thing from scratch.
Back to the cause, My depression is interfering with my weight control.I get so down that I can't even finish shopping. I will leave the cart and come home with nothing. Anything can trigger that feeling!! I really hope I will be able to shop tomorrow. My Cupboards are getting bare and the refrigerator is looking empty.